travel time

I’M SO TIRED!!!

today we booked into the hotel and I’m ready to go back to sleep! Yesterday was lectures in the morening, then headed to JFK for travel time... our flight left at 6:30 which meant 2 hours in the airport waiting, reading People magazine - Saved by the Bell had a 20 year reunion! ilove that show! Our flight was 9 hours long with no sleeping. I switched seats into the middle section with Kristen and Victor. The man in front of me had his head in my lap so I barely slept. We jumped ahead 6 hrs which landed us at 9:45AM- and just the right time to tour all day apparently! We didn’t even see our hotel until 4:30 PM. So in 2 day old clothes and through a delirious fog, I saw the old city of Warsaw, which was beautiful.. with great ice cream! and homemade cones! We also went to a Jewish cemetery with a mass grave in it. that was the first thing that hit my heart and took me out of vacation mode. We finally got to our hotel and I layed on top of my covers waiting for my roommate, thinking, 9 hrs of flying and 7 more of walking, lets just rest my eyes a bit then I’ll shower and refreshen for dinner. The next thing I know is the fire alarm is going off- no wait.. that’s our phone.. waking me up out of a dead sleep 4 hours later! The voice on the other end was saying all sorts of things, i’m still not sure what. Thinking itwas morning, I was glancing through the sheer curtains thrying to figure it all out, she was saying- everyone is downstairs.. you missed dinner. come down. And all I could think was WHAT! They’re waiting for us? like to leave for the day?.. dinner? O wait, we’re in Poland, poor girl just is confused with the words breakfast and dinner. I hung up, still confused, and my roommate, what was asleep as well, took her intinerary out and saw another event lined up for right after dinner. Christian Zionist speakers from Poland. greattttttt...

Finally our day is over.. others are going out.. me too... on a date- with my dreams! How cheesy was that??

Last on my mind- every one of my convictions are being tested right now, it’s crazy.. what is a standard? What is conviction? I keep reminding myself..

..Righteousness is righteousness, no matter the circumstances.

Goodnight! (I wanted to be cool and write it in Poland, but I don’t know how)

-Hope

#A10433..."Life has been wonderful!!"

Tonight we met Irving. Irving was there to greet us at the hotel, I left my family at 5AM, stopped by to see my brother, who I am so proud of, and headed out to JFK. I met up with other students and we headed to our hotel for the night. My room is on the 12 floor, the highest, and the elevator shakes on the way up, room 1204. My roommate is a very nice girl, Chantel. We had Shabbat dinner, with stories of great Rabbi's and prayers, with the first prayer over the wine, keeping the bread covered so it's feelings aren't hurt because it wasn't prayed over first, as usually. I savored this great dinner with salmon, chicken, salad (real salad), bread, and yummy dessert, because I know I won't have it again for awhile :-)

After dinner, apparently the building was on fire, but no one cared and only about 5 people even acknowledged the alarm... a good amount of firefighters came with all their gear to take care of it, which came out to be nothing.. good thing, cus no one even took action!

The session after dinner was amazing.. Irving Roth was 14 years old when he was send to Auschwitz concentration camp. He didn't understand any of what was going on, but all he knew was that his identity was taken away when he was labeled from feet away with a bright yellow star, kicked out of school, and the field where he played soccer with all his childhood friends housed a new sign that read "No dogs or Jews allowed". Over the next year, he was put into more and more oppression, until finally he was taken with 90+ others to the gates of his families fate. They separated the group into two, he and his brother in one of the groups and his aunt, uncle, grandparents, and cousin all in the other, who headed straight to "take a shower". That was the last he ever saw of them. After a year of multiple camps, not able to march anymore, Irving decided with some friends to hide each day. on April 10, 1945 he was found hiding in a crawl space under the building and was taken to the gate of the camp. As he was about to be shot to death, Irving began to pray for a miracle, and about that time an American air raid began to take place, which gave him one more day of mercy. The next day, on April 11, two GI soldiers came into his building, saw a room full of 70lbs. teenage boys and began to weep. That was the day he saw heaven. When it was all over, he returned to his home village, walked into his old home, to find his mother standing in front of him. A righteous Christian woman had provided a place for his mom and his dad to hide during this time and they had both survived. Even after all seemed well, the town still didn't accept him back into the community. the propoganda and MEDIA was so powerful that the truth didn't matter. The propoganda became the truth. Sounds too much like today to me.

Even in all of this turmoil, even looking at the # tatooed on his forearm, Irving describes his life as, "always wonderful". He said that even to this day, there are nights where he will wake up and have to remind himself that he is not there. That he has a bed, with a matress, and a house and food. But through it all, Irving says, 'losing faith in God was never an option, those who did, did so by choice."

One thing he said rang so true to me, he said, "righteousness is righteousness, no matter the circumstances.." Bystanders slept on that Friday night that all the Hungarian Jews were taken away.. they were simply bystanders, because they didn't want to get involved. But then two weeks later they attended the open house auctions of the Jew's household belongings.. the people that we're their neighbors. Willing to "get involved" for a bargain deal... are they still just bystanders?

If you listen to a witness, you become a witness... we are the last generation to hear a first hand witness... are we listening?

Tomorrow is off to Poland, I will update after we land, but for now I'M EXHAUSTED from all the traveling!

be blessed.
goodnight.

Hope

catching up...

Tomorrow starts another destination on this journey.... on to New York for Shabbat dinner, spend the night, then heading to Poland. I am getting so excited for Poland, trying to prepare emotionally for a sobering few days of education and history. The past two days have been full of fun and family. Tuesday I took Trevor -by himself- to Greenville for shopping (he picked out a transformer that is "just way hard to transform" and a G.I. Joe backpack with Snake Eyes on it! After shopping, we had lunch at Chili's where I got to see a friend from High School who is doing so fabulously!! It was really good to see her, she is so happy and I am so happy for her to be finding her way!! Trev loved his "alone time".. I'm sure at some point, they all become lost in the sea of grandkids, they always want attention without dividing it between 7 others. After we got back, my Mom and Dad and I went to eat dinner in Rockwall at a great Mexican restaurant!! Yesterday was full of shopping and hanging out in Dallas with my Mom.. I got a GREAT surprise, a new camera for my trip!! But I still have to play with it and see if it's the one I want.. I saw lots in different reviews and some photos so far are a little grainy.. We will see... so that's about it, I got to see my brother, and will go see him again today prolly... and everyone came out for dinner last night. I love it when our family gets together.. there are so many of us and it's always a good time!! I will miss them until I see them again... but God is good and there is so much ahead... and in the back of my mind, i'm thinking- omg! School starts sooooo soon!! :-) I'll be updating from the next destination- NYC!!!

Blessings!

Hope

finale time!!

hanging out with a bunch of kids is the greatest and worst thing. They are loud and needy and whiney and diapers and dirty and never stop, but it's so much fun that they don't care that people are watching them or if I'm wearing make up or how great I am.. as long as my attention is on them and we are having a blast!! Today was that way, full of movies and the game Life and pizza! Surprisingly all three were still sleeping when I woke up at 10, so I creeped into the living room, with wide eyed Hazel trailing right behind me. He must have already been awake and just waiting on any other life form before he moved. Soon after, Z came down the hallway rubbing her eyes, claiming her enterance, "mornin' everwybody...". Hazel didn't want any more cereal cus he wanted "sooooooda" instead. That didn't happen, so he decided to starve instead. Trevor was dead to the world until 12:30, and we all "played" Life... which actually means move cars around the spaces and 'buy stuff with money'. The currency does not consist of bill amounts such as "50 thousand" or "10 thousand", but instead, "the green one" and "the orange one". Hannah came to pick up her kids around 2, with frozen pizza in hand- sounds like lunch to me!! She's such a mother, just multitasking away, like she has 8 arms working at once. All of our day ended at my brother's house, his son is sooo cute, like a Gerber baby. Shawna made dinner and we all hung out for awhile, it's a rare time that the majority of us are together at once. Now I am home, preparing for the wonderful Bachelorette finale.. it sucks I'm not with my usual Monday night crew, but we will all be talking afterward I'm sure!! Reid is returning, who is my favorite, because of his logical and truly genuine personality. I feel like she cut him because he was honest with her, he said that he was headed toward falling in love with her but wouldn't just propose because it was expected, and I think that scared her. I like kipton, but I honestly think she's going with Ed :(.... which will prolly make Kipton the next Bachelor!!! ok it's on, gotta go... finish later!!

SLUMBER PARTY

bright and shiny plastic bracelets- $1.50
sequins purse- $2
plastic tool box filled with screwdrivers and wrenches- $5
being 'the best aunt' EVER- priceless

***let me just set the mood for this blog- I have three crazy and wild children climbing on and off my bed, around my head, in and out of attention on a movie... so if I am a little scattered, bare with me***

God is really dealing with me about forgiveness... and finally today, it all became clear, that i've been given so many chances of grace, how dare I not give that same grace and mercy to another person. There has been so much that has happened with the common denominator of one person, and it hurt so much to look at him with sorrow, because if I did then my revenge/ justice had not been served! But after tonight, I feel like i need to release him not for him, but for me... ya know what, actually for him too, because I know he is living with a daily life of guilt, which will never allow him to break the chains off his own life.

So, today was a great day... started off with coffee on the back porch with my parents, overlooking our beautiful property. There were horrible spots where pigs had uprooted a portion of our field, and my Dad was eager to get out there and fix it, while a deer came up to drink out of the edge of the pond. We got done and got everything together in order to go out on our boat.

My sister Omny came over for lunch, we picked up burgers from Lone Oak grocery, and it made me so grateful that I have broken away from this small hometown and found something bigger, not better or worse, but bigger than me, bigger than my comfort zone, bigger than the place where everyone knows my name, bigger than what is easy.

After lunch, we headed out to the lake for a hilarious time of tubing and water fun!! Hannah came and brought Z and Hazel, who both love the water, and we ate off brand teddy grahams and apple juice, while riding around the lake...which fyi for my Florida people, TX lakes are not ponds like Lakeland lakes.. there is actually room! after tubing all day, we headed back home for dinner with the family- salmon, chicken fajitas, rice, and corn! Hannah and the kids stayed, and Al came with Emory. Omny and Scotty came with Trev and Luke. It was good to hang out with everyone and laugh sooooo much with my sisters!

The kids all wanted to stay, and of course I couldn't say no.. so we are all in pjs, watched The Little Rascal's and now Stuart Little, piled on my bed, and one of them with potential ADHD symptoms!! They are all getting anxious and squirmy so I need to get them in lay-down mode so I can get some sleep in order to wake up with these three in the morning!! we have a morning of playing "fashion" planned... can't wait!!!!

hope all is peaceful in your worlds.
goodnight.

Aunt Hope.

Destination #3- Madisonville

...This morning was an early and barely cohesive one, the most I remember is carrying a pillow and blanket out to my Aunt's car, stopping at McDonald's for a McCafe Mocha, apparently leaving the front door WIDE open, and being so frustrated because my ipod was dead and my headphones would not plug into my iPhone... so how can I fall asleep to music? ummmm, i can't.. so instead I listened to my Mom and my Aunt chat for a couple hours, just like my sister and I would have, and put in my priceless opinion where needed!

Before long, we arrive at destination #3- my Papa's and Nene's in Madisonville!!! They should feel pretty special because their destination even landed in the title ;-) We stayed there for quite awhile, waiting for my Dad to meet us there, the whole time reminds me of being a kid. Hay bails and Easter, tire swings and four wheelers, cows and rootbeer floats. My Nene taught me how to sew as a girl, and I would spend a few summers on their farm, making my very own quilt. My Papa is one of my favorite people in the world, I love that he still tears up when he talks about the grace of God and is still the same consistent man that I remember my entire life... a rock, steady and unmoved- with an unwavering faith that cannot be shaken! I've never felt like I needed a Dad's approval of a guy, but his has always been a necessity. He is a cowboy and even when I was young, gave me my first and only personal pet- a goat named Jewel. My Papa has been my supporter even when my family thought I shouldn't take a leap, he has always taught his grandkids (majority girls) to reach past what people say you can do... taught us how to drive tractors and four wheelers as very young girls! I appreciate him so much, it was so great to see them both!! They have a pug named Joe, named after Joe Joe the 1st, who would pull me around by my hair when I was a toddler... scared the poo outa me then, can you imagine how big a little mini dog looks in a toddlers face... and scrunchy and breathing hard. When my Dad arrived, he had two of the kids with him, Zebriah and Hazel, so I was soooooo excited!!! Zebriah is my girl and I just love all my nieces and nephews- I love being the FAV. aunt!! (which reminds me, I forgot presents this time... so i gotta run to the store tomorrow before they notice!) We ate popsicles and played in the barn for a bit, then wound it down for the drive home.

The drive home started out CRAZY! I was sitting in the middle of two kids, who both wanted my attention, but wanted to compete with each other. So I had my right hand twisted in a hair tie cus it was funny that she could hold the other end of the hair tie and move my hand around, and the other side playing 'cell phone' games on a little toy phone. Then just when I thought I had it, I had a brilliant idea- LETS WATCH A MOVIE ON NANA'S LAPTOP!! So we sat in silence, no words spoken except when little orphan Annie would have a solo.. of course little orphan Zebriah had to scream along...until one was asleep, that drive was 3 hours!!

I knew we were close when we passed the neighboring town of Point, where I was talked into being a prom date my Senior year, wearing a hot pink dress and riding to the building on a John Deere tractor. Soon after we passed the football field and I knew we had entered the small, population 521, town that I call home. Past the High School that I spend so much time in and majority of my memories in this place, past the neighboring Elementary that I grew up in, which is now a shared building because a new Elementary was built right next to it, and then the Middle School, where I didn't go to school because our Middle School was from way back when, and after so long, it was done. My class was the last to be in that old worn down building, we ran it into the ground, knowing it was done for. Best year ever. After the school we went past the new Cafe, volunteer fire department, and through our one stop light. Past the post office and Dollar General, all these places hold my past, and are a part of why i'm here today. As All these memories came flooding back, I couldn't help but think of my partner in crime, Ash, who I miss incredibly!! My sister and her boo Scotty, who is the greatest and most patient person- she's lucky to have him, came over with Trevor and their new baby, Luke. Hannah and Al came out to pick up the kids, but didn't stay long. It was good to see all of them, and Trev decided to stay a little long and hang out with me. We played LIFE with Nana and Papa, where he was an athlete, I was a travel agent, Nana was a superstar, and Papa was an artist with a beach house! It was a fun game, then he retreated back up the road ti his Mom's house to sleep!

It's so good to be home, I love that I can sleep without street lights outside my window and hear coyotes howling (i know it sounds crazy to some, but when that's what you've grown up with...) I love being on so much property and just sitting outside and enjoying it. It's great to see everyone, and there will be so much more to come!

I'm retreating to be myself.
nothing to do in the AM but sleep in.
Goodnight.

Aunt Hope

the joys of Taco C-

Today is Friday, started early, and headed out with My Aunt Pam, my Mom, and my 3 cousins- Chelsea, Dani, and Parker. It has been a complete girl day of shopping, along with a lot of thinking. I always do this before going on big trips, go into life altering though about things :-)

Not much to explain.... well actually, sooooo much to explain, but only things that fabulous girls would love... So I will not bore you all will the details of my greatness!!

I'm still trying to catch up on sleep, it is clear that I am NOT an early bird, so early to rise for a week has me all crazy!! I am loving all the FB pictures from DC and I promise I will have a camera before Poland!

For now, I am about to enjoy a nice shower and enjoy some Taco Cabana- for those of you who haven't experienced this love of mine... it's mexican fast food, but all home made!!! YUMMMM!! homemade tortillas...omg, so good!! Idk why there aren't any in FL, but everytime I'm home it's one of the first places I go!!

Hope all is well at home.
Be blessed.

Hope